Tuesday, October 16
I must admit... I'm already tired of hotel beds and not being in your arms. I wake at 3am every morning confused by the lack of you wrapped around me. I miss home cooked meals, fresh fruit and veggies and bicycle rides.
Conversations with students and teachers and colleagues are intriguing. I love hearing the opinions on the education system and getting into tiny debates about which direction it should go. It also keeps throwing me back and forth on the idea of becoming a teacher. Again. sigh. too many lives to live, only so many breaths.
The landscape is breathtaking. Goshdarn Canada! You outdone yourself. Rocks and trees and grass and lakes and bright colored leaves and hills and winding roads and miles and miles without a building. swoooooooooooooooooooooooooon!
It's creating a stronger itch. An itch to leave Toronto. Why be surrounded by buildings when you could be surrounded by THIS!? it just seems so silly.
I am dreaming of my farm.
I am having a hard time concentrating. I just want to deal with packing up my apartment, and figuring out what the next step is. I'm ready for that next step. I'm ready to figure out where home really is. Because it's not here...
This trip also has me missing my friends. terribly. which is making me reconsider if we go/where we go. maybe i just want to have you all over for a dinner party. or to go for a walk through high park with you. or just hug you silly.
Perhaps it really is time to become an adult and do what adults do... pick a job, any job, any career, and settle into it. Put down roots. Save up for a house. Own a car. Think about having children.
I'm not ready to admit defeat just yet.