lost little lamb.

i may have written this here before. it's possible. i wrote this ages ago on a small piece of paper with equally small writing. i tend to do that. write and write and write and hide it away for another day without realizing it. today is another day and it's a perfect day for this. I have so many patterns and repeats. feelings and thoughts and ruts and funks that whisper sweet nothings into my fragile little ears on days i need hugs.

i am feeling how i was feeling so many days ago. and perhaps for the very same reason....

sometimes i don't have time to sort through my thoughts in a productive manner. i take everything in and throw it to the back to deal with later. piles of clothes and thoughts and tasks. my closet is full and piled high.
but now i can't find any of them even though i know they're there. time to organize my bookshelf and dust off my belongings. 
otherwise i'll sit here in panic. 'i've forgotten something, but i don't know what'.

i'm in a rut and i'm not sure why.
i want to talk with you. share all of this. but when we sit together, i freeze. lost words with lost art. i know you can see it, feel it. you are losing me... but only because i am losing me. i am lost.
i wish i had your inner compass.
i'll find my way back, i promise. i'll learn to navigate the stars.